What If Dad Is Trying For Sole Custody

Nearly every state in the United States favors the mother in custody battles because the often touted norm that mothers are the nurturers, mothers are the care givers, mothers are the natural protectors of their young.  For any father who has fought, and it is a fight, usually brutal, for custody is often surprised at the entrenchment of this norm.  But, having this awareness, having this knowledge, the father can successfully launch a successful effort for sole custody.  Searching for one, essential keyword or key phrase that encompasses this effort is “amass overwhelming evidence”.  Sun Tzu, ancient renown warrior and planner had a key phrase when he to make plans against an enemy, an antagonist.  His view was to undermine the opponent’s plan, that this was the highest, best, most prudent goal a strategist could have.  His point was that his opponent rarely believed that Sun Tzu would be able to disrupt the opponent’s plans, and was typically surprised and unprepared to defend such a development.  The experts that provided guidance around this way of thinking said and used the words that this effort would be a battle.   Sun Tzu also wrote that the clever combatant imposes his will upon his opponent by choosing the field of battle and by being “first on the field”, that is being fully prepared and ready for the struggle.  More wisdom was to keep one’s opponent on the defensive, continually having to defend, keeping the opponent off balance.  Great advice, but how does this help in this situation?  Amassing overwhelming evidence and undermining an opponent’s plans means that this father must first recognize that this is a battle, even a many battle war.  The father must gather evidence point to the fact that mother is not fit to have any custody or unsupervised visits.  Many people who had experienced similar situations wrote to record, tape, video, audio, write down every instance of contact, calls, bruises on the children, how the visits to the mother was, just everything.  Do not embellish a single thing as it will taint everything.  Simply collect it all, amass it all.  The next thing is to now identify all of the attributes of the normal, nurturing, caring mother.  Map the evidence against each attribute to show how the evidence points out the failure of the mother to provide that attribute to the children.  This is being prepared and undermining the opponent’s plan, which will be to show how the mother fits the “norm”.  Just a note:  there is no such thing as too much evidence.  Hence the phase, “overwhelming evidence”; that is exactly what the father must have, overwhelming evidence.

Lastly, Sun Tzu wrote that no plan can succeed if the leader does not have the resolve to carry out the plan to its final task.  Wavering, worrying about the mother rather than the children, could cause the well-laid plan to fail.  The children and their lives are all-important.  Sun Tzu wrote much about finding the correct leader to carry out the plan.  This leader is the father’s lawyer.  The lawyer has to be an expert at applying the evidence against the mother.

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